i am gay
I went to a Civil Union 101 information session last night.
Way to go Connecticut to be on the forefront of this civil right!
As we listened to the informational (and entertaining) portions of the lecture, I was moved again to be more than an armchair activist.
One of the first things my mother said to me when I came out to her was that she was afraid that I would feel frustrated and restrained because I could not do and have what other people could have so easily.
When I see people walk around holding hands, pushing strollers, I smile at their happiness but always feel a pang of jealousy that it is easy and acceptable for them to get married and have a baby, but with us, we are still worried about our families’, co-workers’ and friends’ reactions to everything we do.
I am not going to tell my grandparents or cousins about our civil union when we have one, and I am definitely not telling my grandparents about Lois’ pregnancy.
We will not have a big wedding with all of my relatives invited and Lois’ gigantic Italian family bringing envelopes of cash helping us on our new adventure, wedding registries and money to “start our new life.”
I am trying not to be bitter. It is not just about “stuff” or even so much having people “embrace” our relationship.
Our friends have been great. Our families are even getting there.
It is just that it is still something that cannot be yelled too loudly. Some people are coming around and are even indifferent – i.e. ‘sure, let gay people have unions but not marriage. Let them have unions, but do they have to be showy about it?’
It’s okay to be gay, so long as you don’t announce it. That is still the feeling, isn’t it?
Hey, I am as much of a hypocrite as anyone. I don’t wear any rainbow jewelry as I begin my career as a real estate attorney. I don’t announce to everyone that I have a partner or even dare say I have a partner who is pregnant. (Although more people in the office now know than I originally intended).
All I am saying is that there is still so much ground to be covered, a long road ahead, all the clichés one can think of. Instead of being bitter and sulking, I won’t stop until actual equality exists. Will it happen in my lifetime?
The best I can do right now is to inform people. We are regular people with regular boring lives. We will have a child and raise it to be a good, loving person.
How outrageous is that?
Way to go Connecticut to be on the forefront of this civil right!
As we listened to the informational (and entertaining) portions of the lecture, I was moved again to be more than an armchair activist.
One of the first things my mother said to me when I came out to her was that she was afraid that I would feel frustrated and restrained because I could not do and have what other people could have so easily.
When I see people walk around holding hands, pushing strollers, I smile at their happiness but always feel a pang of jealousy that it is easy and acceptable for them to get married and have a baby, but with us, we are still worried about our families’, co-workers’ and friends’ reactions to everything we do.
I am not going to tell my grandparents or cousins about our civil union when we have one, and I am definitely not telling my grandparents about Lois’ pregnancy.
We will not have a big wedding with all of my relatives invited and Lois’ gigantic Italian family bringing envelopes of cash helping us on our new adventure, wedding registries and money to “start our new life.”
I am trying not to be bitter. It is not just about “stuff” or even so much having people “embrace” our relationship.
Our friends have been great. Our families are even getting there.
It is just that it is still something that cannot be yelled too loudly. Some people are coming around and are even indifferent – i.e. ‘sure, let gay people have unions but not marriage. Let them have unions, but do they have to be showy about it?’
It’s okay to be gay, so long as you don’t announce it. That is still the feeling, isn’t it?
Hey, I am as much of a hypocrite as anyone. I don’t wear any rainbow jewelry as I begin my career as a real estate attorney. I don’t announce to everyone that I have a partner or even dare say I have a partner who is pregnant. (Although more people in the office now know than I originally intended).
All I am saying is that there is still so much ground to be covered, a long road ahead, all the clichés one can think of. Instead of being bitter and sulking, I won’t stop until actual equality exists. Will it happen in my lifetime?
The best I can do right now is to inform people. We are regular people with regular boring lives. We will have a child and raise it to be a good, loving person.
How outrageous is that?
posted by Holly | 8:53 AM
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